Quick Conversation

Kace is crying, waiting impatiently for his bottle to warm up and I walk through the living room and see Riley on top of Kace....almost smothering in my opinion.  I say, "Riley...." and he says, "It's okay Mom, I'm just lovin' on him.  I have my head turned to the side like this (shows me) so I won't breathe on him (paranoid NICU/preemie mother)."

Sweetness I didn't want to forget.  I love Stay Home Days!

These Hands

I've loved these hands for 37 years. I always thought these hands were beautiful. Even without her wedding ring and opal ring I always tried on. They never looked as pretty on my hand as they did on hers.

They took care of me when I was sick.

They cooked with me.

They cooked for me.

They made sure I was happy.

They hugged me.

They scratched my back.

They planted flowers with me.

They held my hand at church.

They loved me.

I will miss them.

I miss you Nana.

Growing Like a Weed!

I was looking back at the pictures from the day Kace came home and he has grown and changed so much. So much has happened, I hope I eventually blog some of the stories, but for now, I just want to do this quick comparison.
Christmas Eve in NICU.



Homecoming, January 3

My sweet, precious miracle baby. Worth every moment. He's absolutely perfect.

I Will Not Forget

I will not forget the way your tiny fingers hang onto mine.

I will not forget the way you pull your legs up under your body.

I will not forget your intoxicating baby smell.

I will not forget the way your little feet kick.

I will not forget how you demand a blanket. All the time.

I will not forget the way your fuzzy little head feels on my lips and my cheek.

I won't forget if you won't.

Last Good Day

I'm so thankful that Kace met his great grandmother on her last "good" day. She got to see him, touch him, and tell me how cute he was. At one point, she said, "Where's that baby?" I walked to her bed to show him to her and said, "Here's our baby!" She said, "Well, not MINE!" That was funny! Her last good day, she knew my name and wondered what I was doing in her kitchen, just like old times. She always wanted to know what I was doing in there because she felt like she should be doing it for me. Or anyone else in her kitchen for that matter. She was a great hostess and was always offering up something to her visitors. I would always tell my friends that they might as well take her up on something....otherwise she'll keep asking! That's my Nana.

Her last good day we laughed, we smiled, I hugged and kissed her. When Kace and I left, I said "Goodbye Nana, I love you." She said, "I love you too, hon."

Thank you God for my last good day with my sweet Nana.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

I feel like I keep doing the same things over and over and over again:
Wash hands.
Pump.
Wash hands.
Feed Kace.
Clean pump parts and bottles.

There are a few things happening in-between, but nothing feels productive. Before I know it, it's time to:
Wash hands.
Pump.
Wash hands.
Feed Kace.
Clean pump parts and bottles.
Pick up Riley.
Make dinner.
Wash hands.
Pump.
Wash hands.
Feed Kace.
Clean pump parts and bottles.
Go to bed, but not for long...

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

3-D

Russ twisted my arm and we went to see Avatar in 3D. I might have seen just anything to get out of the house once again (I've got some catching up to do)! I didn't really know what to expect at first, but have heard that it was good (from Katie AND Oprah) and that there actually is a story line. I'd decided that it wasn't the science-fiction/alien movie that I thought it might be.

To my surprise, I liked it. The visual effects were incredible. My imagination could never create something like this. I even welled up with tears once--shocker!

Craig and Susan joined us, though we didn't get to talk much, obviously. Susan need to get out of the house too! It was good to have them next to us in the dark with our crazy glasses on.

Couldn't miss this crazy photo opportunity! Susan, I think your eyes are closed!! :-)

Dear Little Brother

Dear Little Brother,

I wanted you to know some things about your big brother you don't know right now because you're just a little muffin. I hope you will appreciate knowing these things some day.

*He can't get enough of you. He is constantly wanting to kiss you, hug you, and touch you (as long as he doesn't have to wash his hands first--ha!).

*He loves chocolate milk.

*The morning after the first night you came home, he asked, "Mommy, is Kace still here?" He was excited, not irritated that you were "still here."

*He is an amazing conversationalist!

*He is ready to play with you but knows it will be a while because "baby's just drink milk."

*He likes to snuggle.

*He is so proud of you. Whenever anyone comes to see you, he says, "You can touch him if you wash your hands."

*He loves to help Mommy in the kitchen. He got his own kitchen for Christmas that he likes to make soup in!

*The moment you met is a moment I will never forget. Riley had to wait 13 days after you were born to meet you because you were in the hospital getting stronger. Riley came around the corner and went straight for you. He had a hard time keeping his hands off of you.

*He had a hard time while Mommy was in the hospital, but was really a trooper for 75 days of "abnormality." He sure did love his time with his grandparents though!

*He still calls you "My Baby." He started calling you that the minute he knew you were on your way.

*He loves his Dog and Pillow.

*He is working on telling the difference between "crying" and "baby noises." He's getting it now.

*Every day he asks to hold you. Several times he has held you for an entire episode of Spiderman or Scooby-Doo. (That's a long time for an almost four-year-old!)

*He is making plans about things you'll play when you "get bigger."

*He thinks that baby pictures of him are you!

*He can't wait to take you to the ranch. It will be a while before you ride in his Gator though.

*He has a stubborn streak--watch out!

*He knew how to spell your name when you came home from the hospital.

*He loves you and is looking out for you already!

I hope this helps someday. I love you too!

Love,

Mommy

A First.

I had a crazy thought today: "Why don't I try keeping both boys home with me today?" Russ went to work and I asked Riley if he'd like to stay home and help me organize his toys or go to school. He decided to stay home--shocker!

Immediately after giving him a choice, I wondered what I'd gotten myself into. Normally Russ is here to bounce one or the other off of and it's a much needed situation. I'm still overwhelmed trying to manage having two children...

So today we stayed home. Kace didn't need to be held all day. Riley took a 3 hour nap. I fed all of us. We did spend at least 2 hours organizing toys. We watched Backyardigans, it's been a while and I've honestly missed those little friends. There were no tears, no raised voices, and I even heard, "Mommy, I like you" half a dozen times today.

Today was a hit. I'm proud of all of us for co-existing. I may be able to do this after all!!

Little Moments

Conversation with Riley at bedtime this week:

Riley: When Kace is bigger, he can sleep with me in my bed. When he's 3, like me.
Mommy: When Kace is 3, you'll be 7!
Riley: (In awe of "7") When I'm 7 I'll be as big as the sky.
Mommy: You can't be as big as the sky because then I can't hug and kiss you!
Riley: It's okay Mommy, you can hug and kiss me, I will have a button down here (pointing to ankle) and you can push it and I'll come down. And you can kiss me.

And we had a conversation about camoflage. He thinks it's "camel-fly" and has the nerve to correct me!! :-)

He's confusing "whipped cream" with "sour cream." So if my child asks for sour cream with his hot chocolate or cake, you'll know why.

We made a dessert with pineapple in it. He announced, "I ate a pinecone!" (Yuck!)

There are more. My brain just can't remember them right now.