Monday, September 27, 2010

It's Fall, Y'all!

Fall is my favorite season! I anxiously await its arrival....and everything that comes with it: football, cooler weather, hoodies, jeans, long sleeves, coffee to warm me up, Pumpkin Spice Latte's, soup, opening a window, orange, brown, Lucky Penny nail polish, comfort food/casseroles, and I could go on!

Riley has been anxiously awaiting the arrival of our Fall Directions he calls he has decorations down, but it sure was cute hearing him ask when we could put out our fall directions!

Well, yesterday the went out. We started with the scarecrow on the front porch Riley named Jolly. He couldn't wait to put that little guy out and was so proud to help. We put out pumpkins, candles, scarecrows, acorns, pears, leaves, and still have a little more to do.

As I was unpacking the decorations, an overwhelming feeling came over me. I didn't pack up these things last year, I only took them out. Some of the decorations were gifts during my hospital stay last year. The flood came back...I missed the entire fall season last year. Yes, special friends and family visited and brought me pumpkin lattes, pumpkin decorations, soup, Indian corn, etc., but it's not the same from a hospital bed.

My "anniversary" is coming up. I've come so far, we've come so far. I've learned so much, I've taken in so much, I think differently, and every day I'm thankful. Thankful for my wonderful family, amazing friends, and the simplicity of a season. A season of change, excitement, and entire season to be thankful.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Happy, but Drowning!

So it's been a while, hasn't it? Life is good...but there's no time for myself. I'm still adjusting to being the mother of a 4 1/2 year old and a (one day away from being) a 9 month old. I love my boys, they are a gift. But WOW....where did my life go?

My alarm goes off at 5. I'm up to shower, dress, makeup, and do hair. Cute hair, are you kidding? Ponytail is the cutest hair I can muster up unless it's a special occasion! Sad, but true. The ponytail might even be a wet one--classy.

I pack the diaper bag: 3 bottles, veggies, cereal. Pack Riley's lunch (he packs it every other day), pack my lunch (pray for leftovers), and then figure out what to eat for breakfast. In the car, of course. Coffee and nothing for me usually. Milk and something...for Riley (looking for some suggestions here if you have any)!

Hopefully I've accomplished all of that by 6:25 because that's when I wake the 4 year old.

Kace usually peeps somewhere/anywhere between 5 & 7. Usually he'll go back to sleep, but not always. I'll pick him up, hold him, and if we're lucky, he'll sleep a few more minutes. If we're not lucky, I have to pass him off to Daddy, who is NOT a morning person (but getting a liiiittttttle better now that he doesn't really have a choice). I might make Kace a bottle.

Riley's so much better early than I expected him to be. He doesn't want to wake up, but who does? We move on. Get dressed, brush teeth, brush hair, grab stuff, and go. Of course it never goes that quickly in real life, but we try. I need to be out of the door by 6:45.

At work, I work with some amazing people. I'm blessed to work with 3 very special ladies on my team. Ladies who took care of me and my kids while I disappeared to go to the hospital last year. I was SO looking forward to taking care of them for a change and with my new schedule (Riley's schedule), they're still taking care of me. Bless their hearts. I love them though. I just don't have time to be with them. Heaven forbid I eat with my friends and relax. Instead, I'm trying to catch up on being behind.

I was used to being at work around 7. I can't drop Riley off until 7:15.....and when I say drop off, I mean I have to park, get out, and walk him in. Go through 3 crossing guards, 2 school zones, and about 482 stop signs...all seem to be in a 20 mph school zone. Oh my patience is being tested!! Then in the afternoon, after my kids go and the building is quiet, I have about an hour to prepare/plan before I have to go and pick Riley up. Not enough time I tell ya!

I depend on those special girls to do my job....make copies, finish planning, and then they have to fill me in. It stresses me out tremendously. They have their own selves, students, families, and jobs to take care of. UGH!

Back home and it's time to get dinner ready.....with Riley and Kace needing love, diapers, milk, conversation, a snack, some attention, etc. What I wouldn't give to sit and be with them at this time. If I do, I'm worrying about dinner, the clothes in the dryer, or the dishes in the dishwasher.

While I eat I'm feeding an impatient 9 month old or bribing a 4 year old to finish his meal. Sometimes both. My poor husband has a 2 hour drive to work and back and I never know when he'll be home. That's tough too. Sometimes 5, sometimes 7 or later....

Don't feel sorry for me, please understand that I love my children, love my husband (who has his own lengthy version of this blog too), love my home, my family, and my job more than ever. I just don't feel that I'm succeeding at any of them right now!! I miss my friends, I miss watching a movie with my husband, jeez....even a sitcom, a conversation. I know this will eventually be a breeze ...and I'll get the hang of it, right? In the mean time, bear with me, please. I'm honestly doing the best I can...and it's not good enough for me!

There you have it. My 6 minutes of alone time. I should've been working. Or going to the restroom or something.