Two years ago today I was 22 weeks pregnant, went to work, and went in for a doctor appointment. My OB-GYN told me that I had a greater chance of losing this baby than keeping it. The look on my doctors face told me that I should be frightened because you see, he doesn't ever look concerned or worried. And he did.
I had no amniotic fluid.
My favorite nurse, Judy, stayed late to check me into the hospital. She escorted me and my mom (who rushed to the hospital) upstairs to my room. I was so glad she did. She was a calm presence for mom and I. That walk to the hospital room was a frightening blur. Russ arrived shortly after.
My doctor thought I'd check in for the weekend, get some IV fluids and a steroid shot. (And be on my way...?) That was until the neonatologist showed up and informed us that I'd stay until the baby came. My due date was January 30th. YOU do the math.
It was horrifying, it was NOT on my calendar, it was NOT my choice. This was in God's hands. We were in God's hands and I've never been more certain. I was scared, but looking back I don't have any bad memories.
We added to our family tree there. Dr. A, Dr. D, Stephy, Melinda, Joanne, Lily, Cookie, Julia and Brian, Kate and Joey.....
I've never felt so loved in all of my life as I did those days. Mom came every day. My Bunco girls surprised me with Bunco in my room one month. My teammates surprised me by sending Amy to give me a blowout on my birthday! Riley and I shared books on the internet in my hospital bed....and watched The Bee Movie (thanks to the cafeteria's fruit plate and some microwave popcorn). Friends and family sent flowers, food, books, crosswords, emails, calls, you name it, I had it.....pajamas, shower gel, lotion, everything a girl in a hospital bed could dream for, I had. Except freedom. Russ spent many nights with me when our moms could be home with Riley. Tina and I had a couple of spent the nights. All for me and I loved and appreciated every effort, whether big or small. It still overwhelms me.
People ask how I made it. Wasn't I stir crazy? Wasn't that hard? What did you DO? Well I made it....I didn't have a choice. Not making it wasn't an option, was it?
Every day I obsessively checked Kace's development and wondered what our lives would be like if he was born each day. I worried, but I felt so safe. I knew we would be okay. God would keep us safe and provide us with what we needed.
On December 21, Kace was born. Induced 6 weeks early because of my continued lack of fluid and his size. Dr. A was hoping for a 5 pounder. Kace was 5 pounds, 5 ounces. I was SO proud. December 23 I was discharged from the hospital. Just in time for Christmas Eve. I'd spent my birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Russ's birthday in my hospital bed. I'm so glad I was able to escape before Christmas. Kace spent 10 days in NICU and was released on January 3. We spent just a few days shy of 3 months in the hospital and when I say "we", I mean "we!" Family, friends, and me.
What a journey. What a blessing. What a gift. What a story.
When I look at him I'm reminded of how much I have to be thankful for. The big things and the little things.
Two years later, Kace is a happy, healthy dreamy boy. Every day he amazes me. Every day I'm thankful that we have him in our lives. Our home wouldn't be complete without the sunshine he brings.
I wish I had a picture from this day 2 years ago. I was too scared. Here my and my little one are tonight before bedtime, on our hospital-iversary.