One year ago...
Here he is, the reason I was in the hospital for 75 days. I was lucky enough to hang onto this guy for some good, quality developing time in there. We hung out in bed, Kace and I, for 75 days. It was hard, but it was easy at the same time..."for a good cause!" Those days seemed to filled with worry on one hand, but also filled with amazing friends, old and new; answered prayers; quality time with people we love; and a newfound respect for the daily grind.
The worry wasn't over though, it just transferred to a whole new level. He's here, appears to be okay, now off to NICU where they test, monitor, and give him more time to grow and develop. The worry didn't lesson like I expected in the back of my mind, it magnified greatly. Waiting for them to tell me what was right/wrong about our precious little miracle baby. Breathing, heart-rate, brain scan, wires, feeding tubes, constant beeping, and Russ's famous quote, "Ummm....there's an X." It's funny now, but it wasn't at the time.
Today, we celebrate his first year of life. The worry has yet to subside, it has evolved. Now we worry if he's okay when he bumps his head (because he's pulling up on everything) and what's he's put into his mouth this time (because every little speck of anything on the floor goes into his mouth...quickly). We are so lucky to have traveled this journey and had the outcome we did. Our eyes are open to a whole new world (to us) of difficult pregnancies, NICU babies, preemies, loss, and most importantly, the power of God. Every day I thank Him that we have two healthy, happy boys.
I don't look at babies with the same eyes that I did prior to this experience. Or mothers, or pregnant women. It's all a miracle and every day is critical, precious, and a gift. When life overwhelms me (as it does on pretty much a daily basis), I remind myself that what I need is a perspective change.
Well, here he is...my #1 perspective changer!