Monday, September 20, 2010

Happy, but Drowning!

So it's been a while, hasn't it? Life is good...but there's no time for myself. I'm still adjusting to being the mother of a 4 1/2 year old and a (one day away from being) a 9 month old. I love my boys, they are a gift. But WOW....where did my life go?

My alarm goes off at 5. I'm up to shower, dress, makeup, and do hair. Cute hair, are you kidding? Ponytail is the cutest hair I can muster up unless it's a special occasion! Sad, but true. The ponytail might even be a wet one--classy.

I pack the diaper bag: 3 bottles, veggies, cereal. Pack Riley's lunch (he packs it every other day), pack my lunch (pray for leftovers), and then figure out what to eat for breakfast. In the car, of course. Coffee and nothing for me usually. Milk and something...for Riley (looking for some suggestions here if you have any)!

Hopefully I've accomplished all of that by 6:25 because that's when I wake the 4 year old.

Kace usually peeps somewhere/anywhere between 5 & 7. Usually he'll go back to sleep, but not always. I'll pick him up, hold him, and if we're lucky, he'll sleep a few more minutes. If we're not lucky, I have to pass him off to Daddy, who is NOT a morning person (but getting a liiiittttttle better now that he doesn't really have a choice). I might make Kace a bottle.

Riley's so much better early than I expected him to be. He doesn't want to wake up, but who does? We move on. Get dressed, brush teeth, brush hair, grab stuff, and go. Of course it never goes that quickly in real life, but we try. I need to be out of the door by 6:45.

At work, I work with some amazing people. I'm blessed to work with 3 very special ladies on my team. Ladies who took care of me and my kids while I disappeared to go to the hospital last year. I was SO looking forward to taking care of them for a change and with my new schedule (Riley's schedule), they're still taking care of me. Bless their hearts. I love them though. I just don't have time to be with them. Heaven forbid I eat with my friends and relax. Instead, I'm trying to catch up on being behind.

I was used to being at work around 7. I can't drop Riley off until 7:15.....and when I say drop off, I mean I have to park, get out, and walk him in. Go through 3 crossing guards, 2 school zones, and about 482 stop signs...all seem to be in a 20 mph school zone. Oh my patience is being tested!! Then in the afternoon, after my kids go and the building is quiet, I have about an hour to prepare/plan before I have to go and pick Riley up. Not enough time I tell ya!

I depend on those special girls to do my job....make copies, finish planning, and then they have to fill me in. It stresses me out tremendously. They have their own selves, students, families, and jobs to take care of. UGH!

Back home and it's time to get dinner ready.....with Riley and Kace needing love, diapers, milk, conversation, a snack, some attention, etc. What I wouldn't give to sit and be with them at this time. If I do, I'm worrying about dinner, the clothes in the dryer, or the dishes in the dishwasher.

While I eat I'm feeding an impatient 9 month old or bribing a 4 year old to finish his meal. Sometimes both. My poor husband has a 2 hour drive to work and back and I never know when he'll be home. That's tough too. Sometimes 5, sometimes 7 or later....

Don't feel sorry for me, please understand that I love my children, love my husband (who has his own lengthy version of this blog too), love my home, my family, and my job more than ever. I just don't feel that I'm succeeding at any of them right now!! I miss my friends, I miss watching a movie with my husband, jeez....even a sitcom, a conversation. I know this will eventually be a breeze ...and I'll get the hang of it, right? In the mean time, bear with me, please. I'm honestly doing the best I can...and it's not good enough for me!

There you have it. My 6 minutes of alone time. I should've been working. Or going to the restroom or something.


Stephanie said...

Oh, honey! I feel your pain! Believe me when I tell you, it gets a little easier every year!

rachael... said...

Yes, this all sounds very familiar! Throw in a husband who is gone overnight a few nights a week and you've got my life. I'm sure it does get easier, but after almost three years of being a mommy of two I still feel like I barely have time to come up for air... At least we are lucky enough to have so many mommy friends who can relate!! Love ya!

Angie & Greg said...

Oh Missy,
I go back to work in two weeks and I am already feeling overwhelmed. I am guessing I too will be trying to figure out a balance. I do appreciate you sharing that it is not easy - it affirms my days as a new mom!

sunshine said...

And knowing you, you do it ALL with a smile and a laugh! I'm SO proud of you. As a mommy, we make a lot of sacrifices (in fact YOU are the one who told me that). I'm always, always here to listen and laugh with you. You are amazing, and I'm so proud of all the Cooks!